THE “GAY KAPPA WEDDING” CONTROVERSY
Dear Robert and Nathanael,
I saw this photomontage of your wedding on YouTube, and I must say, I am absolutely floored by a few things.
First off, you guys are Black, gay, and it seems like your family and friends, who are also Black, are extremely supportive of your union. Now, Black folk aren’t typically thought of as allies of the GLBT community. They could screw, steal and fight every day of the week, but say the word “gay,” and all of a sudden, homophobes instantly turn away from their evil ways and get reeeaal holy. But, the massive show of support you guys received gives me hope that African Americans are evolving, and beginning to accept that:
• GLBT people do exist
• Some of them are Black
• If we want to end the down-low phenomenon in our community, then we’ve got to create a space where gay and bisexual Black men feel safe enough to come out
Secondly, Nathanael, you are a member of Kappa Alpha Psi. Frats, by nature, are hyper masculine institutions. Being gay goes against frat culture, and yet, some of your brothers were still there with you to share in your moment, proudly throwing up the frat’s sign.
But this, along with your wedding seeming to incorporate Kappa’s color scheme, angered some in the Black community. “Why’d they have to have a Kappa wedding,” they wondered in disgust.
But what made it a “Kappa” wedding?
Because you used crimson and cream? Did Kappa trademark those colors? If so, they need to sue the hell out of Hallmark, because that’s all I see at Valentine’s Day.
Or is it because your bruhs threw up the sign in a few photos? Let me tell you, I have been to weddings where either the bride, groom or both were Greek, and not only did they throw up the sign for their organization, they strolled, stepped and shimmied all over the reception hall. Hell, they did everything but have a probate. So, why can’t you and your bruhs do the same? I’m sure your sexuality didn’t get you a discount on your dues, nor did it make your process any easier. You have just as much right to celebrate your organization as any straight dude. Period. You’re not the first gay Kappa, and you certainly won’t be the last.
But, you are the first Greek man I’ve ever seen that has the courage to be himself this publicly. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Congrats to you both.